I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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