I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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