Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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