WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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