I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
this will be a night to untag.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Randomize
