I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
