at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize