I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
