so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize