so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
