Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
