i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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