it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
