So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
