omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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