That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there were birth control emojis
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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