I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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