New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
