Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Randomize
