Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
