It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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