Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
