just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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