I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
