We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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