i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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