I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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