All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
