summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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