Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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