sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
