Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize