ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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