SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
try to milk me bitch
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
