he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
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The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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