yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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