You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
