Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
