Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
