They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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