i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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