WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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