I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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