did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
