so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
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If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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