goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
