STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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