So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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