So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
