In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
