Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got inside last night via doggy door
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
