I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
