Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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