I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
