Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
