Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
