i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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