I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
