lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
