Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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